Love can still be wonderful in our later years, but we have to let go of some baggage first – like all the simplistic ideals from the pop songs of our youth. We can’t expect our partner to look like a twenty-something film star, and we’re unlikely to find instant sexual fireworks (remember the song … Read more
Alan Heeks shares his development through the life stages When I turned sixty in 2008, I set a clear intent of moving into elderhood, growing beyond my prevailing warrior-hero approach to life. Ten years on, I can report good progress on my development through the life stages, but as well as further mysteries. Elderhood and … Read more
A heart and soul view on conscious ageing In the 1970s and 80s, Ram Dass was a leading international spiritual teacher: a classic fusion of California and India, where he had met his guru. His books (such as Be Here Now), talks and workshops were inspiring, and his zest and charisma carried you along. Suddenly, … Read more
If you’re setting an intention for positive change, changing the story is an important part of shifting you or someone else out of a habitual response. One of my biggest insights since turning 60 has been the way repeating stories shape our lives. The older we get, the more of a limitation our stories become, … Read more
Getting older is a series of watersheds, when looking back over your life and seeking shape and meaning is a helpful step. It may give you a sense of where the plotline is, of what you’re still seeking, or of missing pieces in the picture, which become a goal to complete in the future. This … Read more
Alan Heeks shares the roots of his fresh approach to creative ageing… I believe that shipwreck and re-invention are the healthy essence of the mid-life crisis, and I did mine pretty thoroughly. Two weeks before my 50th birthday, I moved out of my 27-year old marriage, leaving the family home and my two daughters. The … Read more
Therapy: the book by David Lodge The ‘hero’ of this book is Tubby Passmore, 58: balding, bulging, and thoroughly lost. Although he’s outwardly successful – well-off, modestly well-known as scriptwriter for a top sitcom, with a steady if dull marriage, Tubby is depressed and confused. Through the book, we piece together his life story, and … Read more
Advice to those in their sixties: Delegate to others more than you think you can safely do! You can’t do it safely. How did you learn? Don’t delay this! Get out into nature and meditate, pray, ask questions of yourself – your god or whatever you call that thing. Recognise crises as invitations to break … Read more
Staying happy in your seventies Be proactive in caring for mind, body and soul. For me this begins with daily yoga and meditation practice. Be ever open to new experiences and ideas. Keep the brain working in whatever way is best for you. (I learn the words to happy/positive songs and sing them out loud … Read more
Two score and ten – fifty years and growing It is said that you know you are getting old when doctors and policemen look impossibly young. I had this experience about a year ago when I encountered an orthopaedic consultant who told me bluntly that ‘at my age’ they would not want to offer me … Read more
The warmth of the heart prevents your body from rusting: Marie de Hennezel. This is the best book on ageing I have read: well-informed, realistic, as well as warm-hearted and inspiring. Marie is one of the leading French experts on ageing: she has been studying this field for years, and draws on some excellent role models … Read more
If Vita Sackville-West is known at all these days, it is as a landscape gardener, Bloomsbury bohemian, or as the role model for Virginia Woolf’s Orlando. In fact, she is a superb novelist too: perceptive, witty and elegant. The central figure of her novel All Passion Spent is an 88-year-old widow, whose last years prove a triumphant … Read more
Re-inventing your health in later life Charles Eugster is a pioneer in health regimes for people over 65, and well beyond. He has won medals for rowing and sprinting in his eighties and nineties! However, his book offers a lot of help for oldies less fanatically fit then he is. Charles is a Fellow of … Read more
Alan writes about his experiences of friends suffering from life threatening illness. In the past few months, the wives of two close friends have had late diagnoses of advanced cancer which could be fatal. The husband of another friend has had a stroke. At the Summer School I go to each year, two couples from … Read more
Discover yourself and have some fun as you grow older. Everyday life these days can be uncertain and unsettling for anyone, and getting older may just seem to make that worse. It may feel tempting to settle into your rut, retreat into safety. In fact, you’re likely to be more happy and resilient if you … Read more
Cosy friendship in all its forms: including tea, cake, candles! Many surveys show the Danes to be the happiest people in Europe and the world, and the quality of hygge seems to be one reason. Hygge, pronounced hoo-guh, is hard to define or translate: friendly cosiness is the closest I’ve found. The ritual of hygge This … Read more